My Life
by Rogue Sprite
Summary: [AU] Some pregraduation drama and final denouements of said drama during the summer. Kenshin was stupid enough to turn Kaoru down. He realizes his mistake.


_A/N: One of my old and better one-shots._

* * *

**My Life**

She was sitting outside the library taking notes on the chapters assigned to her in addition to the workload she had to make-up for missing a couple of classes last week. Though there weren't many people who would spend their Saturday mornings outside the library in the middle of summer, _she_ was there at the porch by the small brick lily pond.

Classes? Summer? What?

She had opted to take college summer courses. She had to convince many people, including the friends she had to turn down when they started to plan their senior trip. Peer pressure was a pain. Yet she was here. She was planning to finish a couple chapters, eat a haphazardly concocted lunch, and proceed to where she was doing her summer internship. Her time to work with the IR laser lab was running out and she had a couple more samples to stain and analyze. It was becoming a pain, but she was getting paid to work on her college thesis early, so all in all it was a pretty good deal.

Distractions are much more painful, anyways, which is why she found her solace at the small patio made right outside the library for people like her. Thoughtful, open, brutally honest, sincere, outspoken, subtly intense, focused, driven…_obsessed?_

_Passionate_.

It was more than he could bear. He wondered how he could have been so stupid. Why?! He wanted to beat himself into a pulp for saying no to her. She was so adorable, and sensitive, and intimidating all at the same time. She had asked him to prom and the best he could come up with was "I'll think about it."

_I'm such a jerk! _

He couldn't do it. He was confused and just completely caught unaware, off his guard—which was a miracle in itself. No one—as far as he could remember—had ever surprised him as she. And it scared him. He looked for a way to say no, because he just couldn't say yes. For two weeks he put off his answer, looking for some other girl, someone naïve that he could easily take advantage of. It was prom after all. He was young and stupid and hormonal and he knew he had been subconsciously planning on getting what most boys his age would want. He couldn't say yes to her. She's not that kind of girl.

So he said ;no' after two weeks of making her wait. It was her fault anyways, he had barely seen her in those two weeks.

_Bull_. He had been avoiding her for two weeks. He smiled bitterly at himself. She was smart so she got the hint after he had walked straight past her without so much as a hello. She started to avoid him too, but he sometimes would see her walking slower along the hallways where she would _usually_ see him—by accident, of course.

What the hell was he supposed to do? She was… _she was amazing_.

It was along this line of thought and memories that he suddenly realized something. She had a little plan! He smiled dazedly. To think that she would make out a little plan, just to ask him to be her "escort to prom," made his blood burn.

They barely knew each other, really. They had two classes together. The hardest class in school and free period. She was quiet in the former, but outspoken in the latter. She did research, contests, and brought her guitar many times to free period. He actually stayed to hear her play, despite his plans of going to a teacher's class and working on his own competitions. He had never seen a girl play. And though she couldn't sing—which she shyly admitted before she was pressured into it—she played very well. And when the song was made just for her, she would use her head voice and suddenly she sang better than angels because _she _knew how to play guitar… and angels could only play those dingy things called lyres.

She had a plan to ask him! Why didn't he see it before? Days before she asked him, she would walk with him to free period—trying to convince him not to skip. Always she would start the conversation by asking about his day. A simple "How was your day?" in the middle of the hallway from her was very odd. In fact, hearing that simple honest phrase nowadays one period before dismissal was just plain weird… yet somehow so fitting. She actually listened, and smiled at the right moments, but didn't offer to tell how she has been doing. Kenshin, the jerk, never once asked back. But it didn't matter, they both experienced the profundity of having a simple and sincere conversation between two human beings and they were both too caught up in the moment to think about the technicalities of etiquette. It wasn't everyday you could have a serious yet light conversation between teens.

Fifth day. He remembered it was a Friday and he was off to a university for his competition. "I'm not going to be in class, so don't even try." She chuckled a little, amused that he can read her now. "Alright, so how was your day?" "Pretty good, I'm actually psyched about this competition." "I'm glad. Hey, Kenshin, I was wondering…" "Hmm?" "Would you be my escort to prom?"

Her eyes were slightly crinkled, and he could see the obvious urge of hers to turn her head down and stare at the floor, but her better sense won (it almost always does) so she kept her eyes on his face. Which left him with no option but to _not _hurt her. He smiled a nice smile and said "I'll think about it."

Oh gods the drama. It wasn't even drama. He was pretty sure she got the worst of it because she was pretty open to almost anyone. She, who never kept anything from close friends and family, told them almost daily updates on how _he _wasn't answering. She had a way of blowing things up when she was nervous and unsure of herself. This he knew because even though it was an extremely rare event, whenever she was nervous it was obvious. She was just that kind of girl.

_Such an ass. _

He banged his head on the counter and looked up through the window. She was staring at what she made for her lunch that morning. He smiled at the wary look she gave the sandwich.

Ironically, he gave his answer to her during free period after a couple of threats from his friends and hers.

"Hey Kaoru?"

"What?"

He mouthed "I need to talk to you about prom."

She shifted her guitar in her lap and nodded to a couple of other people who were asking her to play a song then she turned back to him again and said teasingly

"You can just tell me here, you know."

He mouthed "outside."

She rolled her eyes and flounced after him. She knew the answer, probably from one of his friends and it was obvious. She was disappointed and she was trying her best to make light of the situation. She knew it would be easier to control her angst against him if others were watching, so she made sure her face could be seen through the glass of the door.

"I don't think us going to the prom is a good idea."

She dramatically put a hand to her chest and looked up at the ceiling and started sniffing. She closed her eyes. And right when he was about to panic she looked up at him and smiled widely.

"Just kidding. I know. I realized a couple of things too…" _Huh? What couple of things?_

"So yeah…"

"I just can't believe you waited a full two weeks!"

"I haven't seen you--"

"Right right…"

"Well I thought you hated me--"

"I DO HATE YOU… I mean--" She paused and took hold of herself. "What I mean is… I'm debating right now whether I should just vomit on you."

He shrugged.

"How could you have asked someone else within those two weeks? You could have just said no."

Shrugged.

"It's okay. I'm glad it's like this." She said lightly, looking down on the floor for the first time. She caught herself in the act and suddenly gave him an intimidatingly determined gaze.

"Kaoru, it's just that you should know that my intentions are _dishonorable_."

"Yes, and _my_ intentions are _honorable_, so this is me dumping you."

She impatiently flicked her palm at him as she ran towards the comfort of her friends.

_How could I?_

Because she was amazing. He wasn't worth the asking. Surely she saw how he handled that junior during homecoming… she saw because… because… _she was staring! _Kenshin banged his head on the counter again, realizing why she seemed to be walking more than just dancing on the floor during homecoming… months before prom. She was stealing glances at him.

"I like guys who look good in tuxes." She once said, looking at him pointedly a few days after asking him. He kept silent though. She was just trying to encourage him, but it backfired on her.

She was watching intently as he groped that junior. He remembered now and groaned. He felt suddenly ashamed. _She was amazing._ That's why he didn't say yes.

She was the one girl who intimidated him. He knew he was smarter than her, she would often complain about how hard the hardest class in school was during free period. He just breezes through it. Yet she had so much more… she was so full of… she lived her life with… _passion_.

Her eyes sparked fire when she started to explain her research. Her gestures would have seemed exaggerated if not for the apparent enthusiasm in her voice about the conjugation of nanoparticles and so forth. It was hot. She was hot. He wanted her like _that_ with _him_.

He wanted _her _to talk about _him_ in the same way she talks about research and that guy she met in International Science Fair a year ago.

_How could they still be emailing each other? It's been a year! How could she still be infatuated with him?_ He thought jealously to himself. Often in free period, when the conversation strayed to how she got her idea, she would credit her interest in nano-research to that "smart sweetie" who introduced her to the whole new world of viruses. She would say it was the first time her feelings have ever been returned. Her eyes shined with obvious adoration for this "cute Einstein," and Kenshin could only hope that this "award-winning hunk" was at least thinking about her once in a while after the fair. No one deserved that much admiration from her. No one.

He sighed. He looked at the window again and saw her dropping Tupperware and all into the trash can with an obvious face of disgust.

"You know, she's a pretty forgiving person."

"Huh?"

"I think she's still hungry too…"

"What are you saying, Sano?"

"Here, this one's on me." The man pushed Kenshin out the coffee shop and shooed him over to the girl who was quietly looking at her notes again. Kenshin gulped.

He could only hope that her eyes were a little tired from reading. It seemed that during the last days of school, she would always look at him in a mixture of hurt, anger, and… carefully hidden curiosity.

She was never the type to accept the fact that she couldn't always get what she wanted. But she respected him and his decision. And perhaps his honesty, if not his integrity.

_Respect?_ They had, after all, graduated with the same rank. They earned almost the same amount of special awards. It was as if they've been competing with each other all along…

"Did you know she never asked anyone else?"

"…No. Was that why she didn't have a date?"

"That and she never said yes to anyone."

_Out of all the guys in school, out of all the underclassmen who were stupid enough to ask, she turned a blind eye to all of them after she had asked him_.

This girl was either supremely hurt by him or had a deep sense of honor. _Both_. It was both. She learned her lesson. In fact, she would never have asked him in the first place if not for that blasted monster called peer pressure ("You need a date to prom, Kaoru!!"). She chose one boy. After "the one," she gathered what dignity she had left—in her perspective—and had her chin and smile in place all throughout the night of the dance, refusing politely anyone who asked for her hand. She asked one boy alone and she was not tacky enough to go gallivanting with another. She would offer her attention to one boy alone and it was up to him to take it or reject it. Either way, it was for one boy alone.

_Mou! My life sucks. Why am I doing all this research? It's summer… I should be in Florida right now, flirting. And breaking hearts—Kaoru, still so bitter. Need to get over it_. She cautioned herself.

"Hey…"

She stared dumbfounded.

"Um, I noticed that you threw away your lunch. I was wondering if I could at least tempt you to a muffin? Or maybe some scones and some coffee?"

"I..I—I don't drink coffee." _Whew, Kaoru, you almost lost it there_.

_She was always so stubborn_.

"Lipton green tea laced with passion fruit?"

_How did he know…_

"You mentioned something about migraines once in free period…"

"Oh. Well, I guess I could use the caffeine. My eyes are pretty tired."

_You're eyes… are very pretty._

"What did you say, Kenshin?"

"Nothing."

Kaoru smiled sleepily. The caffeine was exactly what she needed. _Need to put some spark back into those eyes, then maybe…_ Kenshin mimicked her smile as he remembered a particularly memorable moment during prom.

It was the end and he hadn't seen her all night. The lights turned on, indicating that the dance was over. He looked around blinking his eyes, looking at the others in the clearly lighted room. It was then that he saw her and saw her eyes.

Heaven cream pink/peach looked beautiful on her lightly tanned skin. She was in a strapless dress that curved around her chest and small waist, elegantly emphasizing her hips as it made a graceful cone around her thighs. Three bows held the dress together in the back, further obscuring the view of her skin as the dress dipped modestly low down her backside. She wore drop pearls and a pearl necklace. Her hair was down, garnished with a single pearl bobby pin to hold back a few strands of hair from her face. She wore almost no make-up, just enough to accentuate full lips, rosy cheeks, and her large eyes.

He caught her eyes for a moment. He caught her unaware, which wasn't a hard thing to do, but lately she had been very guarded when it came to him. He saw that she had been enjoying herself, her skin was flushed and slightly glistening. He saw that she was happy, and vivid, and…

_Full of life_. She smiled at him brightly, forgetting for a moment what was and wasn't between them. He saw then how much she _liked_ him.

_One boy alone._

This was what Kenshin wanted back, what moved him to ask this girl to a cup of freakin' tea _(Tea. Who the hell drinks **tea**__anymore?)._ In the shop he sat uncomfortably in front of her, trying to turn his attention to something else. He curiously glanced at her and was caught staring. Kaoru giggled. She was feeling liberal today. A little playful.

_I'm so tired of this drama. Oh well, I should come clean with him. We won't ever see each other after this summer anways, so it can't hurt._

Tenth grade.

Kenshin looked up. Had she said something?

"I've liked you since 10th grade." She smiled and popped the muffin into her mouth.

Little did she know that they were going to the same college.

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BTW, the title is exactly as it sounds. I speak from experience in this little bundle of drama, though the whole coffee-shop-resolution thing never happened. The thing where the guy looks at the girl at the end of prom didn't happen either. Everything else is pretty much true. I _would _know. Oh and I never knew the guy's actual perspective. One of his reasons for saying no was that simply I--I mean, the girl, wasn't_ that_ type of girl. This is me fantasizing back then. I think I'm over it. 

::Tries not to dread college. Hell we're living in the same dorm too.::


End file.
